Thanks to everyone, we now have a whole stack of new reviews to put up, and reviews to add on. I really can't ever get too many to add to the site, so please submit a review if you have something to say!

Clem and Lucas are a French couple living out in the Romanian countryside. One night, while they are sleeping Clem is awakened by a strange noise so her and Lucas go to investigate. They see someone driving their car away and soon a series of noises, phone calls and lights start to terrorize them, forcing them to leave the house to try and find help.

One major thing Ils got right, and I mean really, really right, was the dark. So often in horror movies the dark looks like one of two things. Either it’s dark outside but you can tell there are lights set up somewhere, giving everything a spot-lit look or it’s so dark you can’t tell what the heck is going on. Here, you could see everything without any telltale lights or shadows, giving you the feeling of being right there in the midst of all the terror.

The second major thing done right is the location. The couple have recently moved into an old mansion out in the middle of a woody nowhere. The house is enormous, much more than two people need and you can see where someone could stalk you throughout without you being the wiser.

George is an unhappy Manhattan adman who, feeling creatively stiffled by his job and otherwise dissatisfied with his cushy Yuppie life, takes his therapist wife and their son on a winter weekend break to a friend's cabin upstate. On the way, they hit a deer, which sparks an ugly altercation with some of the locals, rattling the entire family. Things just get worse from there.

This movie is absolutely wonderful, but it is not at all a typical horror movie. (It also shows what Larry Fessenden can do with something of a budget and top-notch actors.) Wendigo is more domestic horror than supernatural. The scenes between the passive-aggressive parents, and between the privileged city-folk and the inexplicably angry country locals, are brilliant. And all that tension builds excruciatingly until the end, which is simultaneously horrific and predictable.

The whole movie could be interpreted allegorically. It's seen through the eyes of Miles (an excellent Erik Per Sullivan), who observes his parents unhappiness without understanding it. He sees threats from all sides (both physical and other) and tries to make sense of them, without really being old enough yet to clearly distinguish imagination from reality, or even figure out why all the adults are upset.

I watched Curse of El Charro because it was billed as staring Danny Trejo. I love Danny Trejo, he kicks butt, I'll watch just about anything with him in it, I wrote to my Congressman about getting the "Machete" feature funded.

Unfortunately, Danny Trejo isn't in El Charro. He does a voiceover. This means that the Curse of El Charro represents 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back. It does feature a cameo by Lemmy from Motorhead, which probably would have been enough to convince me to give it a look had I known about it in advance. But Lemmy doesn't save this movie either (though he went a small way toward making up for the false advertising about Danny Trejo).

To say this movie starts off slowly is an understatement. Absolutely nothing happens for more than an hour. After that, there's some OK slasher action, but it's over almost immediately. The heroine's religious and crazy because her sister killed herself. She has completely obnoxious friends of varying degrees of stereotypical sluttiness and cattiness who hate her and each other, and they all drive into the desert for the weekend together for no readily discernable reason.

This is another Sci-Fi Channel movie, but it's a bit unusual. Most Sci-Fi Channel movies are wonderfully straightforward. Everything you need to know about the plot is right there in the title. (My personal favorite - Rock Monster.) They often involve either gargoyles or giant reptiles, or some sort of body-snatcher aliens (so it can be added to the themed-marathon lineup), and if you can throw in Nazis, or otherwise explain why everyone but the three leads is obviously Romanian, well, even better. They usually exhibit a decent sense of humor, terrible CGI, worse scripts, acceptable acting, occasional cameos from familiar faces, and are competently put together in their way. They are like the Big Mac of horror films - cheap, satisfying, and pretty much the same all over.

War Wolves shows signs that someone wanted to do something more. During the first third, this flick looked like it might use the werewolf as a metaphor for the savagery of war that some veterans carry home with them, isolating them from their fellow citizens and former lives, driving them to violence, alcoholism or other self medication. Sadly, it didn't manage to follow through.

After some token backstory, a US military unit, led by a Captain Gideon (our leading man, and also director), is pinned down in some house to house fighting in ... I guess Iraq. Anyhow, the troops are holding their own, until the "dog men" the locals fear set upon them.

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Ils (Them)
Wendigo
Event Horizon
Turistas
Trees
Friday the 13th
Splinter
The Curse of El Charro
War Wolves
13 Bullets
Burnt Offerings
Cannibal Campout
White Zombie
Creepshow
Versus
The Sixth Sense
The Shining
Eden Log
Habit
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Hannibal
Hostel
BloodRayne II
Twilight
Blood Freak
Dead Heist
1408
Quarantine
MoH: Fair-Haired Child
The Evil Dead
Torso
The Strangers
Blood Dolls
Bleed
Blade Trinity
Blade
Blacula
Black Christmas
[Rec]
Gangs of the Dead
Billy the Kid vs Dracula
Amok Train
Battlefield Baseball
Battle Royale
Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer
Basket Case

Laura Caxton is a Pennsylvania State Trooper working an ordinary weekend night DUI checkpoint. At least that’s how it starts. Events rapidly spiral out of control when she finds the remains of a family in the trunk of the car of an unusual looking driver. The sane, normal world Laura has known up to this point is about to take a major turn
and her concept of reality is tested to the breaking point. By the end of that first night, she will become the unwilling apprentice to the world’s last known vampire killer, U.S. Marshall Jameson Arkeley. David Wellington, author of the Monster Island zombie trilogy, puts his original spin on the vampire mythos with 13 Bullets, the
first of a new trilogy. You won’t find any crosses, silver, or garlic here. And you won’t find any ruffled shirt, romantic vampires in Wellington’s first vampire novel. And that’s how it should be.

In 13 Bullets (so named because that’s how many hollow point bullets Special Deputy Arkeley keeps loaded in his Glock) vampires were thought to be extinct. According to the government, Arkeley took care of the last known vampire in1983. Of course the Marshall knows differently and after a two decade absence the deadly predators have chosen to resurface, with a vengeance. Sensing that Trooper Caxton possesses qualities that not even she is aware of, Arkeley recruits her to assist him in his investigation of the creatures.

The Rolf family is looking to get away for the summer. They found a big secluded mansion in the woods. Ordinarily, this type of housing would be way above their means. However, as luck would have it, the house is owned by two elderly siblings who are willing to rent it at a bargain basement price for just on small catch. The catch is that their elderly mother will be staying in the attic with them. Creepy at first, this idea warms to the Rolf’s as they realize maintenance for the mother will be relatively minor. She keeps to herself with her voluminous, curious collection of old-time photos and only requires three “squares” daily as upkeep. Plus, the house is VERY nice. The Rolf’s accept this stipulation and move into the house. Everything is fine initially. Shit goes south quickly however. Strange goings-on occur, attitudes change, things become violent, souls are possessed, swimming shenanigans turn sour. It seems the house has a mind of its own and it’s an evil mind at that. Will the Rolf’s survive with their asses intact? This is Burnt Offerings.

Burnt Offerings did it for me, despite several shortcomings. It was kinda long and uneventful in some instances. I remember one scene that took like 20 seconds to zoom in on a light bulb that had nothing to do with anything. Mrs. Paynecraft found this type of stuff monotonous and boring. It didn’t bother me too much.

Four college friends are heading into the nearby woods for some rest and relaxation. But before you can say “Deliverance”, our new friends run afoul of some of the locals who don’t take to kindly to any newcomers in their woods, even if they happen to possibly have a “purty mouth”. Paths will cross, cultures will clash and blood will be shed, but not until bellies rumble, because this weekend my friends, it’s going to be a cannibal cookout!

Schlock master John McBride is back with another VHS shot horror flick this time called Cannibal Campout. Sure it’s cheap, campy, crude and less than perfect, but it’s also bloody, entertaining and charming even with all it’s blatant faults. So grab a plate, cut yourself off a hunk of meat, then sit down and enjoy.

The story is nothing new, even for 1988, bunch of good hearted kids head up to the woods for a weekend of fun, hell they even sing a catchy little song on the way up and I can’t tell you the last time I saw four college kids singing a camping song. Anyway once these kids go from the paved road to the dirt road, they immediately meet a bunch of rednecks who don’t take to kindly to strangers and before you know it their asses are grass. So then for the next fifty minutes or so you get to place bets on who is going to make it out alive.