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Vampirella
Thirsty for justice, she'll setttle for blood.
Reviewed by Misfortune

In order to watch this movie, you must be able to suspend all disbelief that the only good part of this movie is the costuming. More to the point, the skimpy little Vampirella costume Talisa Soto wears in it. But, unfortunatly, no matter how much the costume shows, it cannot make up for her shitty performance.

I won't put all the blame on her though, the acting of the entire cast was horrible. The dialogue was so bad, it wasn't even laughable. I find it very sad when you cannot even laugh at all the bad lines in a movie.

The movie starts on the peaceful planet of Drakulon. {Peaceful as in none of the vampires kill for blood. How sick is that?} Vlad, and his group wish to feed the old fashioned way, but Vampirella's father, one of the leaders of the planet refuses to allow it. Vlad slaughters him, and he and his followers escape to earth. Vampirella, swearing vengeance follows the group to earth, and finds them in Vegas. Vlad is now masquaradiing as a rock star. {I wondered to myself where have I seen this before? At this point I became psychically ill.} After the initial confrontation, Vlad escapes. Vampirella then joins forces with a "high tech" {obvious plastic guns} group of vampire hunters to track Vlad down.

I'm not going any further in this truly awful plot. On top of the above mentioned bad acting, there is also: the poorly made background shots, horrible special effects and dull and very predictable action sequences. There is no nudity at all, and gore is limited to red colored water "blood." You could find more blood on the Disney channel. I could not wait for this movie to end.

Even with bad movies, I watch them all the way through to see how they end. If it weren't for the fact I was reviewing this movie, I would have turned it off in the first 10 minutes. I cannot say enough bad things about this movie, especially since the original version on this review got erased. :evil: I hope none of you mistake of ever seeing this movie like I did...

1 out of 10 over the hill rockstar vampires with clip-on hair.


(1996) Jim Wynorski, Forrest J Ackerman, Gary Gerani

Talisa Soto .... Vampirella
Roger Daltrey .... Vlad/Jamie Blood
Richard Joseph Paul .... Adam Van Helsing
Brian Bloom .... Demos
Corinna Harney .... Sallah
Rusty Meyers .... Quinn
Lee de Broux .... Lt. Walsh
Tom Deters .... Traxx
Jack Zavorak .... Captain Stryker
Lenny Juliano .... Carlos
Anne Howard .... Stepmother
Angus Scrimm .... High Elder
Tyde Kierney .... Adam's Father
David B. Katz .... Forry Ackerman
Robert Clotworthy .... Professor Steinman


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