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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Inspired by a true story.
SLASHERS
Reviewed by The Horrorist

I expected to enjoy this movie, but walk away angry with the filmmakers over something I felt they betrayed, it just didn't happen though. No betrayals perceived or otherwise. The original was respected, if not revered. With the exception of Savini’s Night of the Living Dead and 1978's Invasion of the Body Snatchers a movie has never been redone in a way I approved of. Now there are three.

There were enough changes made so that a obsessive horrorphile like myself, who'd seen the original at least ten times, wouldn't know what was going to happen next. There was enough left the same not to piss me off. Sure, there were a things I'd have done differently, but the good in the movie outweighed the changes I didn’t like.

The sense of realism was lost a little from the original, it didn't have the same documentary feel, it was too polished. But the grittiness was replaced with an ambiance that was very fitting, alternating between tension and intensity throughout. Some of the disorienting chaos of the first was missing, but replaced with a suspense the average movie-goer will be more comfortable with. It's definatelely geared toward letting the non-fans enjoy, a little more than I'd like sometimes. Some of the violence is truly horrific, but when a perfect setup to cut a guy in half with the chainsaw came up the camera shied away. Maybe it will be in the DVD version, though.

The ensemble was straight out of an MTV awards show, which also concerned me. With the current trend of having a female actor from some brainless teen soap opera bouncing around terrified until they decide to kick ass while Slipknot or Korn blares in the background, I was pleasantly surprised not to see that here. The casting was good, and the acting was very impressive.

I considered Jessica Biel another brainless beauty from the WB's endless supply of young women making a living off of pretty smiles and fake boobs. I was mistaken, she was truly brilliant. Few actors put so much into a horror role and many of the most intense scenes are owed to her ability to be so real, she was the intensity as much as Leatherface was. She showed more range in TCM than I'd expect in a pure drama. She was terrified, she was pitiful, she was desperate – and the move between was seamless. She fought back, but unlike bubblegum horror she never became a badass who made the killer nervous. She didn’t make any Spiderman style smartass remarks while doing it, she didn’t give us any Dirty Harry “make my day” crap. She fought hard out of desperation, it was pure fight or flight, and it was completely believable. I'm also no longer convinced that her boobs are fake.

R Lee Ermey was also excellent, showing he can not only be a magnificent cursing drill sergeant, but also other magnificent cursing characters as well. I won’t go into any details about him, because he’s such a good part in the flick. He absolutely stole his first scene, and later he and Biel together made for one of the most intense points in the movie. And let’s face it, the man’s got a lot of personality and had some great lines.

John Larroquette's first acting job was being the narrator on the first one, I was very pleased that he narrated this one as well.

In summery, it was a great flick. Will it replace the original in the DVD rack of a true gorehound? No, but it's definitely earned a spot next to it. Should you skip the original because you've seen this one, not if you're a horror fan.

8/10


The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Inspired by a true story.
SLASHERS
Reviewed by SirWiggle

Let me start by saying that I agree with most of what the Horrorist said in his review. I also liked this film and I want you to know this because this comment piece might sound overly negative.

I thought this movie lacked the rawness of the first film. Maybe it was the way it was shot or the film used but I felt like the remake was too slick.

I also thought that the director could have left some of the more repulsive scenes to the imagination. This was done exceptionally well in the original. I felt like the remake's gore became too overdone. It seemed like every other scene had something extreme in it and after a while it lost it's shock value.

Remember I liked this film but I have a tendency to pick what I feel are the faults before the positives. One huge positive was Jessica Biel. Was her acting superb? YES. Was she convincing? YES. But above all she was the absolute hottest woman I have ever seen on film. WOW!!! When can we see more of the beautiful Miss Biel? Not soon enough I'm afraid.

7 out of 10 buck-tooth little freaky-lookin' kids


The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Inspired by a true story.
SLASHERS
Reviewed by relics

I have just finished watching this film and I still feel sick. Not from the gore, oh no, though that salt scene was enough to make anyone flinch. This movie ,my fellow horrormaniacs, made me scared. Really scared. I did NOT know what to expect around every corner. I said, "She's going to die..." And she didn't. Or, "He's around that corner..DON'T GO AROUND THAT DAMN CORNER!" And, lo and behold, there's a possum. Classic.

The background and set were perfect for this movie. And I am very critical. Jessica Biel was perfect for this. As were the other actors. Plus, there was no sucky music blaring when she is running away in full blown terror. She wasn't our usual, screaming around, trying to screw every guy, kind of herione. Nope. That girl fought back.

Now, I usually do not rate movies very high. But, in accordance to the weak feeling in my stomach and knees, I must rate this a 9. Watch it. Love it.


The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Inspired by a true story.
SLASHERS
Reviewed by Bloody Taco

I rate movies based on how they compare to other films in the same genre. It seems pointless to rate Dude, Where's My Car?,for example, by comparing it to The Hours because they're both trying to achieve different things. Thus, I was disheartened to see critics berate the remake of the 1974 horror classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre because it is (in the words of critic Roger Ebert) "vile, ugly and brutal" and causes feelings of "disgust and hopelessness." Guess what? This is a true horror movie, and those are precisely the reasons it should be lauded. If you want to feel warm fuzzys, go to a Disney flick; you won't find them here.

Brief lesson: Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer (and countless others like them) are not horror movies; they're slasher films. The difference is that one (horror) is all about creating a mood of fear and a sense of foreboding, while the other just wants a reason to show creative gore. Chainsaw starts out calm, and then grabs you around the throat and slowly squeezes for the next ninety minutes. Gore is used, but the real star here is its increasing feeling of dread.

I hate that the Chainsaw remake played the "inspired on a true story" card (as the poster proudly proclaims), when the connection to deviant Ed Gein (who used to dress in the skins of female corpses) is tenuous at best, but I also understand that that's part of what made it work for people who were disturbed by it. When I played the TCM remake at the theater I used to run, every night I had people leave the auditorium with a dazed look on their faces. One girl, about 15 or so, was absolutely *sobbing* when she came out, and couldn't talk. Based on the reactions I saw, it's safe to say this film did what it set out to do.

Yes, it uses familiar plot devices (teenagers are stalked, the car won't start when they need to flee the killer), but this doesn't matter; the film's grip is relentless and these all work to create tension. When it was over, like Ebert, I felt less than human, but I knew that was really the point.

Pros: Gritty and disturbing, even for those who know it isn't true.
Cons: The change in tone at climax seems a bit out of place.
Rating: 8 out of 10 chainsaws (really, what did you expect?).


(2003) Marcus Nispel, Tobe Hooper, Kim Henkel, Scott Kosar

Jessica Biel .... Erin
Jonathan Tucker .... Morgan
Erica Leerhsen .... Pepper
Mike Vogel .... Andy
Eric Balfour .... Kemper
Andrew Bryniarski .... Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface)
R. Lee Ermey .... Sheriff Hoyt
David Dorfman .... Jedidiah
Lauren German .... Teenage Girl
Terrence Evans .... Old Monty
Marietta Marich .... Luda May
Heather Kafka .... Henrietta
Kathy Lamkin .... Tea Lady in Trailer
Brad Leland .... Big Rig Bob
John Larroquette .... Narrator (voice)


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