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much flesh, so little time.
you like to surf the web? Then beware my friends for an unseen
predator lurks below the glowing electric ocean. Now you fellas
don't have to worry to much, but if you’re a young and sweet
little teen, or a skanky frat-house spooge- sponge, then be warned
as you search the chat rooms looking for a good time and pray
you never take up the offer to join the parties of one Carlton
Hicks. Oh, you say you've never heard that name before, well
then perhaps you know him by his screen name, Captain Howdy.
I have warned you all I can, but if your desire for free booze
and drugs and the fact that you have no self esteem or brain in
your head and the only way you can fill these empty voids in your
soul is with massive amounts of self abuse and dong, then I can
only wish you the best of luck.
Written and starring Dee Snider of Twisted Sister fame, Were
not going to take it, sing with me, NO were not going to
take it anymore! glam-metal hair-bands ruled, comes Strangeland
the story of a sadist whom lures young lasses to his lair via
the internet to have his depraved and perverted ways with them,
hell ain't that why we all got a PC?
I’ll give Strangeland credit on one aspect, it was the
first of it's kind to focus on the dark and sometimes truly
horrible aspects of the internet chatroom scene. That being said
the rest of this flick is pure trash.
Strangeland is an equation of the following: take Hellraiser
minus the cenobite add in a pasty-white pierced guy, multiply
the plot by a cop searching for his daughter and round to the
nearest Clockwork Orange for the completely ripped-off ending.
Figure all that out and you got Strangeland.
I couldn't take the first half of this movie as I nearly
died listening to Howdy spout his poetic like musings on torture
and pain, then you get to watch Alex, oops I mean Howdy be transformed
from crazed sadist to his mild mannered meek self, only to be
shunned and turned away by local towns people, gee I wonder why.
There are also some of the dumbest cops you will ever see on film
in this mess, all I will say is watch their truly magnificent
way of breaking the case and there is also some of the most stupid
victims ever in Strangeland, you think I was joking in
my opening paragraph, watch the film.
There is some decent torture and a little blood here and there,
but other than that not to much else. I do however think Snider
looked ten times creepier as Carleton Hendricks, then he did as
the Captain Howdy alter ego, but then I always find skinny, pasty
ass, long haired men creepy. I sure am glad you cut your hair,
If you’re into the whole torture/sadist thing then enjoy, but
I couldn't find to much in this one. By the way, Captain
Howdy was the name of the spirit Reagan contacted on the Ouija
Board in The Exorcist.
3 out of 10
much flesh, so little time.
Yeah, I really dug this movie too. It had good shock value, especially
when it first came out. Dee was an imposing figure and some of
the torture was a little startling. The acting was shit, but most
people can deal with it, provided they are entertained in other
ways. I think Dee funded alot of this on his own, or something
like that, so props for that. That would explain the luke warm
acting and not so strong storylines in some places. It is also
basically a reinactment of the Twisted Sister song HorrerTeria,
off of the super awesome Stay Hungry. I mean hell, Dee pretty
much singlehandedly created this whole thing.
I give it 7 out of 10 of the bestest, most badass soundtracks
ever, second to Shocker (deftly dodges empty vodka bottle thrown
by enraged Taco). Sing it! "Heroes are hard to find!"
Oh, and Prime, I really do miss my hair. It worked great with
my trim athletic pasty ass physique. It made me feel free, kind
of like Fabio. I apologize if I creeped you out though. At least
I still got my trim physique (looks down at beer belly and sighs)
much flesh, so little time.
There’s more to Strangeland than meets the eye, really.
It’s a well-conceived film full of moral ambiguity that’s easy
to miss due to some cheesy and sometimes really dumb dialog.
Put that aside for a moment and consider the questions we’re
posed. In the original songs, we’re encouraged to side with
the mob, after a careless judge and a technicality frees a child
molester. The crowd gives him what the justice system failed
In Strangeland things aren’t so simple, though. In it
the system works as it’s supposed to. He’s insane, he gets rehabilitated.
The crowd still rises up. To further muddy the waters, his victims
are now teenagers, although he does torture them. What’s a society
If we support the crowd we’re saying some things. We’re saying
rehabilitation is a lie and that we don‘t believe in our own
legal system. In the film the law is applied only when we normal
folks want it to, it’s not there to protect everyone, just people
society deems “good.” Equal protection under the law is at the
very basis of what makes our country great, and we’re asked
if we’re willing to throw that out when it’s convenient for
us. Add to this a cop, someone sworn to uphold the law, and
he breaks nearly as many laws as Captain Howdy, but he’s still
the good guy throughout. If Howdy’d been innocent and the cop
reacted the same way, it would be a much more disturbing movie
and maybe representative of our society in yet another way.
Anyway, enough analytical horror-watching. I think the most
disturbing part of the flick is Robert England doing the little
“I’m getting turned on” dance in his chair. This scene was actually
degrading to humanity in general. I’m ashamed just thinking
Incidentally, imagine how cool the scene where Hendricks transforms
back into Howdy would have been if when he’d looked into the
night sky the rain had washed away the makeup he was using to
cover his facial tattoos. Way better than saying “What a rush!”
don’t you think?
It’s a crappy ending, but saying it‘s ripped off is silly. I’m
pretty sure Prime’s equation is gibberish, actually. He’s a
bit of a lunatic.
6 out of 10 eyes full o’ tinkle
John Pieplow, Dee Snider
Kevin Gage .... Mike Gage
Elizabeth Peña .... Toni Gage
Brett Harrelson .... Steve Christian
Robert Englund .... Jackson Roth
Linda Cardellini .... Genevieve Gage
Tucker Smallwood .... Captain Churchill Robbins
Ivonne Coll .... Rose Stravelli
Amy Smart .... Angela Stravelli
Dee Snider .... Captain Howdy/Carleton Hendricks
Amal Rhoe .... Tiana Moore
Robert LaSardo .... Matt Myers
Andrew Cooper .... Victim Bob
Archie Smith .... Elderly Man
Lois Hicks .... Mental Institution Nurse
Carey Westbrook .... Sam the Orderly
Also Known As: Dee Snider's StrangeLand