I have seen this movie, along with Scarecrow Slayer, at all of the video stores that I haunt. I figure it is my duty as a horror movie reviewer to review new horror releases with questionable quality like this, in hopes to inform the public on whether these movies are shit or not. It is true, the life of a horror movie reviewer is not all glamour and decadence, as you are about to read.

This is a poor movie. The dialogue is terrible. A consequence of such a movie malfunction is often unintentional comedy, which this movie has. The storyline is pretty basic. A teenage misfit gets constantly abused by everybody, then he gets killed and turns into an evil ninja scarecrow. This has potential right? Wrong.

The abuse this kid takes is totally unrealistic. His social studies teacher calls him trailer trash and calls his mom a whore, all in front of the class. For the record, his mom is a whore. She is always bringing home some drunk dirtbag to get it on with. In turn, the drunk dirtbag always calls him a loser and gives him unrelenting hell. The stereotyping of white trash in this movie is somewhat humorous, but altogether unoriginal. The mother has rollers in her hair, she is constantly smoking, and she cooks while holding a bottle of booze in one hand. Her boyfriends are lazy and drunk and are always talking trash. Pretty standard.

The acting is pretty lame. The girls are hot, but our kept fully clothed in front of our wanting eyes, as we sit struggling with the lack of validation that our $3.00 movie rental provided us. There are one or two decent kills, but for the most part they are uninteresting. Decent special effects and gore are at a minimum. The scarecrow actually does look pretty menacing, but when he is doing 360 roundhouse kicks and spouting off one liners (as he tries to decapitate this one victim with a shovel, he questions “Can you dig it?”), it becomes a joke.

The charactors are extremely inconsistent. The guy who gets picked on turns into an evil bastard, with little remorse. I mean, he is carrying out vengeance on all the people that harassed him. I understand that, but he is also being vindictive when he kills passers by. It just seems like he would have more compassion for these innocent victims, since he had been a victim for so long. In another situation, there is a girl who is aware that people are getting murdered at an alarming pace. When encountered by the murderous scarecrow who has two menacing scythes, she tries to fight him and starts to repeatedly punch him. Are you shitting me? Trying to fight a demonic killing machine with half ass punches, instead of trying to flee? Ay carumba.

They never really explain why in the hell this kid turns into a scarecrow anyway. At one point, one guy says "There's a lot of evil in this town". This is supposed to somewhat explain what is going on. Good enough, I guess, at this point.

To summarize, this is a terrible movie. If I can get one person to reconsider renting this movie and renting something else, then I feel I have done my duty.

This movie was fueled by Smuttynose barleystyle ale and Iced Earth's new cd, The Glorious Burden. Gettysburg is simply amazing. I also have this impending doom feeling that I have to review Scarecrow Slayer next. Ay carumba indeed.