As part of my commitment to the reading public, I vowed I would review and watch lame-ass horror flicks so you wouldn’t have to. It is a heavy burden at times, as you will soon read.

Scarecrow Slayer is an abomination of a movie. Within 5 minutes of the opening credits, I am witness to some of the worst special effects I have ever seen. Do you know how profound a statement that is? I prayed for sweet death or the ending credits to release me from the obligation of watching this shitfest, whichever was quicker.

I think this is supposed to be a sequel to Scarecrow, but I am not sure. The original high school is mentioned, and there is a ninja scarecrow or two in this movie, as well as the first one. I am not sure if a couple of the same actors are in both movies, but it does not matter. The two movies really don’t have much in common.

Some kids, as part of a fraternity rush, are supposed to go steal a scarecrow. When they attempt this, they are shot by Candyman--I mean the farmer, played by Tony Todd. The soul of the kid who gets shot is transported into the Scarecrow. The scarecrow then goes around killing people. The rest is lame ass movie history!

This time around, they try to attribute the legacy of evil scarecrows back to Greek mythology. They kinda left out any coherent reasoning for the evil ninja scarecrow's existence in the first movie. Whatever.

No nudity, horrible special effects, no real gore to speak of, bad acting, terrible plot. It’s as simple as that. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. They incorporated in the most frequently used prop in movie history-- the human sized air ducts that all the people in Hollywood crawl through! Why the hell not? There was some success at humor with the marines who show up later to try and stop the scarecrow, but you will probably have fallen asleep by then and missed it.

I’m sorry, I can’t go on. There is no point. Avoid this movie at all costs. Deftly dodge the first one also.

This movie was inspired by the rage I had of losing about 90 minutes of my weekend watching this movie. I’m over it now.