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An
escaped inmate is trying to make a run for freedom, but something
is hunting him. Is it a vigilante posse? Perhaps vengeful prison
warden? No its none of those my friends, its nothing
that nice. Trailing our fugitive is a cybernetically altered beast
with a taste for human, or what ever other kind of flesh it comes
across. Unleashed from his masters leash, the beast is now
free to hunt and kill as it wishes.
Most
of Brian Yunzas films are either a hit or a miss in my book,
but on this one, Yunza puts up an air ball that lands squarely
in the trash bin and nothing can save it.
First
off you have seen this film before, but then it was called The
Terminator.
Rottweiler
is a blatant rip off of the James Cameron classic, at times it
seems like the film was taking parts or lifting imagery directly
from the Ah-nold anti-hero epic. This is no more apparent or deliberate
than in the films extremely predictable ending, which will
come as a surprise to no one except a drooling simpleton who likes
to do sculpting with his own fecal matter.
I
had an issue right off the bat with this one. Owning four rottweilers,
I thought for sure that this flick was going to do nothing but
besmirch the noble rotties reputation, but with a great
amount of relief I was glad to see that the breed of the dog used
had nothing to do with the movie, except of course in the title.
Anyway,
the effects and story are terrible. The killer canine changes
sizes and appearance from scene to scene. When the dog is showed
far away or running, it is, in fact, a real rottweiler, and a
good looking one at that. Whenever the kill scene begins to commence
we get to see a huge puppet head that is nowhere near the size
of the actual dog, also the beastie can apparently grow metal
teeth at a whim because during the film sometimes he has them
and sometimes he doesnt. They also use a horrible life-size
stuffed-dog-doll from time to time that is even more unbelievable
and during the underwater sequence you can actually see the thing
swell up.
Another
thing about this flick that kind of got on my nerves was the gratuitous
amount of nudity I was subjected to. Normally I dont mind
a little T & A, but unfortunately in Rottweiler all you get
to see is star William Millers ass crack , swinging schlong
and bouncing ball-sack for about twelve minutes nonstop as he
runs buck-nekkid through the Spanish wilderness.
To
tell the truth I havent seen that much man-crack and nut-sack
since that time Paynecraft passed out on Marshal Earps couch
during a Horrornight get together and someone, I think Lord J
or Dinger, yelled TEABAG-A-PALOOZA! Ha ha, what a
fun time.
Anyway
Rottweiler is a pretty bad movie and takes many tidbits
from Man's Best Friend and Cujo as well as huge
chunks from The Terminator and splices them together in
an absurd fashion with horrible results. If youre a fan
of Yunzas work then you may want to give it a go around,
but I think you will be even more let down in the end.
2
of 10
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