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Rottweiler
ANIMALS
Reviewed by jareprime
Eat, sleep, fetch, kill.


An escaped inmate is trying to make a run for freedom, but something is hunting him. Is it a vigilante posse? Perhaps vengeful prison warden? No it’s none of those my friends, it’s nothing that nice. Trailing our fugitive is a cybernetically altered beast with a taste for human, or what ever other kind of flesh it comes across. Unleashed from his master’s leash, the beast is now free to hunt and kill as it wishes.

Most of Brian Yunza’s films are either a hit or a miss in my book, but on this one, Yunza puts up an air ball that lands squarely in the trash bin and nothing can save it.

First off you have seen this film before, but then it was called The Terminator.

Rottweiler is a blatant rip off of the James Cameron classic, at times it seems like the film was taking parts or lifting imagery directly from the Ah-nold anti-hero epic. This is no more apparent or deliberate than in the film’s extremely predictable ending, which will come as a surprise to no one except a drooling simpleton who likes to do sculpting with his own fecal matter.

I had an issue right off the bat with this one. Owning four rottweilers, I thought for sure that this flick was going to do nothing but besmirch the noble rottie’s reputation, but with a great amount of relief I was glad to see that the breed of the dog used had nothing to do with the movie, except of course in the title.

Anyway, the effects and story are terrible. The killer canine changes sizes and appearance from scene to scene. When the dog is showed far away or running, it is, in fact, a real rottweiler, and a good looking one at that. Whenever the kill scene begins to commence we get to see a huge puppet head that is nowhere near the size of the actual dog, also the beastie can apparently grow metal teeth at a whim because during the film sometimes he has them and sometimes he doesn’t. They also use a horrible life-size stuffed-dog-doll from time to time that is even more unbelievable and during the underwater sequence you can actually see the thing swell up.

Another thing about this flick that kind of got on my nerves was the gratuitous amount of nudity I was subjected to. Normally I don’t mind a little T & A, but unfortunately in Rottweiler all you get to see is star William Miller’s ass crack , swinging schlong and bouncing ball-sack for about twelve minutes nonstop as he runs buck-nekkid through the Spanish wilderness.

To tell the truth I haven’t seen that much man-crack and nut-sack since that time Paynecraft passed out on Marshal Earp’s couch during a Horrornight get together and someone, I think Lord J or Dinger, yelled “TEABAG-A-PALOOZA!” Ha ha, what a fun time.

Anyway Rottweiler is a pretty bad movie and takes many tidbits from Man's Best Friend and Cujo as well as huge chunks from The Terminator and splices them together in an absurd fashion with horrible results. If you’re a fan of Yunza’s work then you may want to give it a go around, but I think you will be even more let down in the end.

2 of 10


(2004) Brian Yuzna, Miguel Tejada-Flores, Alberto Vázquez Figueroa

William Miller .... Dante
Irene Montalà .... Ula
Paulina Gálvez .... Alyah
Cornell John .... Dongoro
Lluís Homar .... Guard Borg
Jacinto Molina .... Kufard (as Paul Naschy)
Ilario Bisi-Pedro .... Aranda
Nicholas Aaron .... Sugarman
Lolo Herrero .... Nacho
Ramata Koite .... Berta
Bárbara Elorrieta .... Woman in white
Ivana Baquero .... Esperanza
Roberto Hijón .... Said
Abdel Hamid Krim .... Abu


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