The Outing is a peculiar little flick out of the 80’s (aren’t they all?) and, against my expectations, had nothing to do with a picnic or gay rights activism. The Outing is about a girl who unleashed an evil genie from a lamp. The genie then starts killing everybody who is held up in this museum for the night. There is a teacher/curator love interest and a scorned ex-boyfriend vengeance subplot that also make appearances. Clearly it’s not the storyline that makes this movie enjoyable. It’s the other things. Permit me to elaborate.

One thing that I find quite entertaining is the absurdities in the movie. Too many to name them all, but I have to mention a couple. One is the fight in the high school. In accordance with the political incorrectness of the 80’s, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend tries to start a fistfight with the main girl. The new boyfriend finally takes up for her and gets punched and double-teamed for his trouble. He then gets back up and hits one of the guys, who careens into the other and they both crash into some lockers, a la Enos and Rosco in The Dukes of Hazzard. In a bit of terribly placed comic relief, the locker above the ex-boyfriend opens up and a dozen books fall on his head one by one.

Angry, the guy gets up and pulls a knife, only to get deftly subdued by a hottie stick-wielding teacher! What the fuck? The racial slur-tossing guy finally gets under control and hauled off by security (his buddy doesn’t). This is short lived though, as the two bullies are outside waiting for the high schoolers when they leave.

There is another scene with these two dolts that I have to mention. They are trying to scare this girl. They come in with masks on and the girl screams. Prank complete! Joke's over, right? Wrong. Then, the two guys start raping her! WTF? It’s these reckless inconsistencies I was able to find entertaining, even if for all the wrong reasons. It happens again when a guy goes from burglar to cold-blooded axe murderer in 3.8 seconds. Crazy shit.

The kills are also quite good, as blood is judiciously sprayed everywhere. 80’s boobs are also mixed in the mayhem in choice locations. Me and my brother (the Great Old One) also noticed while doing a body count that the token black girl didn’t get killed. She either got killed offscreen, or they forgot to kill her off. Either way, that’s one for you Lord J, our very own token black guy!

Overall, I found this movie entertaining. Good kills, wacky antics, unintentional comedy, cheesy monster, 80’s fashion and hairstyles…you name it. The Crafter of Payne (and assorted fine jewelry) gives this flick 6 out of 10 ceiling fans that, instead of bonking you in the head, slice through your skull and spray blood everywhere. Using this logic, I could take one of the fan blades, tie it to the mop I just bought yesterday, and go on a murder spree. Once I get good enough I could hack off a person’s head and then spin my weapon around and mop up the mess!

On a side note, I don’t really make assorted fine jewelry, but I did give Prime a wonderful pearl necklace the other day. He loved it and wears it everywhere!