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HUMANS
Reviewed by GeneralCinema
They will all pay the price...

Five American tourists are visiting China. During a visit to a nightclub, one of them acts thoughtlessly and reaps horrific consequences on them all. Upon entering a porn movie theater, they emerge themselves in a world where a crime boss entertains his fetishes through "live feed" images from the rooms.

In the beginning, we are shown the tourists shopping in the street and clips from a strip club. I felt that this was a little slow, but this was the only really slow part of the movie. After this, there were images of bondage shown during the opening credits. This showed a bit of promise. Shortly after this, we are shown two Chinese men. One of them has on a bloody apron and the other is reading "Ogrish Magazine." The mag has a picture of a headless naked woman and both men are excited about the picture. I guess this is a build up of what's to come and it shows us how sadistic the Yakuza are.

The tourists and their tour guide find themselves in a nightclub playing pool. During the course of the evening, one of them bumps into the crime boss and jokingly apologizes with a form of "Engrish," the tour guide berates him and apologizes correctly. They then go to probably the seediest porn theater you'll ever go to. It's the kind of place where if you have to use the bathroom you'll hold it indefinitely.

They split up in their respective groups and embark in drug-related and sexual acts. One of the couples finds their friends fucking in the bathroom through one of the live feed channels. This worries her and thus begins their night of terror.

Sorry for the build up, but that's about all of the plot. This movie was made strictly for gore hounds. The acting is bad and the production values aren't great, but the gore is done really well. Ryan Nicholson, the director, is also the creator of Flesh and Fantasy, Inc., who also did the special effects.

As I said, the acting is bad. The people are all unlikable and you want them all to die very quickly in the film. There's the typical asshole, the nice girl, etc. The script is typical for this type of fair as well, for instance, while in a VIP room at the theater, the asshole and his girlfriend are fucking. He finishes rather quickly and she tell him "we rented the room for an hour and you're done in a minute."

There are times that this movie looks like it was shot on a hand-held video camera. This isn't necessarily bad and I think this was the director's intention. Some camera angles could be better, and the movie doesn't capture the atmosphere properly either, but this is also his first movie, so there's room for improvement. "Low Budget" doesn't have to mean "Cheap."

Now onto the gore. The blood flows (and sprays) rather freely. We also see some severed heads and other body parts. There are some interesting scenes. For instance, there's one scene where a girl has a glass tube put in her mouth and a snake is shoved down her throat. She's then gutted, and the snake slithers out of her now open stomach. There's another scene which brings new meaning to the phrase "eat a dick." Apparently, the crime boss has a penchant for mild cannibalism. There's also a rather large guy called "The Giant" who does most of the killing. He reminded me a bit of Leatherface.

If you go into this movie looking for a Hostel clone, you will be greatly disappointed. This is cheesy, gory and rather sadistic. If you want a movie with lots of cheese, gore and bondage/nudity then this movie is for you.

I always like to watch the first movie from a director and then follow their career. Hopefully with his next movie "Piglet" some of the mistakes made from this movie will be realized and avoided.

Although the production values are lower than I expected, I'm going to give this 8 out of 10 tempura penises.


(2006) Ryan Nicholson

Mike Bennett ... The Giant
Greg Chan ... The Butcher
Stephen Chang ... The Boss
Caroline Chojnacki ... Linda
Colin Foo ... Shards
Taayla Markell ... Emily
Kevan Ohtsji ... Miles
Rob Scattergood ... Darren
Ashley Schappert ... Sarah
Lee Tichon ... Mike


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