A little girl dressed like a frilly pink princess cake topper goes out into the swamp for a tea party. She gets understandably upset when a couple of trashy teens show up for a little slap and tickle (emphasis on the slap) and pull the head off her dolly. I don’t suppose she bargained on them flying off their bike and onto some strangely strategically placed iron bars when she threw mud at them.

In proper slasher fashion our movie now fast forwards to eighteen years later. Our little girl is now a biology teacher with a tenuous grip on sanity. Becoming a high school teacher probably wasn’t her smartest choice. After she is terrorized by four misfit teens what little marbles she had fly right out the window along with the rest of her.

Don’t worry that I’m spoiling the whole movie for you. For a slasher this one is pretty unique in the fact that it’s very straightforward. There’s no masked killer, no whodunit, just a loony bio teacher in her underwear with a rock. The kids are mean but they go way beyond the usual pranks. In one scene the bad kid is getting ready to rape the teacher, the slutty girl shows up to stop him (you think anyway) instead of helping the unconscious teacher (her friend gave her a Quaalude) she climbs aboard the teacher herself to show him how all unconscious victims like to be touched. It really makes you feel for those kooky kids.

You have to love Shriek Show. They put out some pretty unknown, hard to find stuff. An intro from Joe Bob Briggs is just the icing on the bloody cupcake. Even with a glowing recommendation from Joe Bob, I wasn’t too impressed. The gore was ok and the nudity was there but I think the fact that it was so straightforward hurt it. Nothing was suspenseful or scary in the slightest. What it did have going for it was pure friggin’ cheese and a rockin’ soundtrack. Yeah!

4 out of 10 ex-football players who whine about their future for the entire movie, who you're supposed to be rooting for.