Ben has just broken up with his girlfriend of 8 years and his buddies can’t think of any better way to cheer him up and take his mind off of his troubles by taking him down to New Orleans to celebrate the annual tit festival known as Mardi Gras. Any normal heterosexual male would have no problem clearing his mind with nothing but boobs, beer, and all the other crazy activities that take place at Mardi Gras, but not Ben. He is not amused and wishes to leave the fun to partake in a “haunted swamp tour” of the big easy bayou. He takes off on his own but his good pal Marcus decides to come along being the good friend that he is.

The two friends head to where they believe the tour guide can be found and we’re treated to a nice little cameo by Tony Todd. He tells the lads he no longer runs the boat tours and leads them in the right direction. This is where we meet all the characters who are also joining in on the swamp tour. We get all the stereotypical slasher characters. You know, the dumb ass girl (we’re treating to a couple of these actually, who happen to be pretty damn hot), the older couple, the mysterious quiet girl who has infinite knowledge of the legend of Victor Crowley, an Asian, and a middle-aged guy. AKA all one dimensional bodies that can easily be disposed of. The entire crew is left stranded out in the woods of the swamp after their boat crashes and we’re off...

“This is the greatest horror movie I’ve ever been a part of,” I quote the legendary Kane Hodder as he refers to Hatchet. Needless to say, after reading a quote like that I was very much anticipating the release of his film.

Let me start off with the bad before I start washing the balls of this movie. The acting was pretty poor. That being said, I have seen A LOT worse from movies with bigger budgets and a much more well known release than Hatchet (this opened up on less then 80 screens across the US) and I can put up with terrible acting probably more so then most movie advocates. The acting factor of Hatchet might turn away some viewers but you have to keep in mind this film was not meant to be taken seriously.

Now that I have the bad out of the way, let me get to the good stuff. The gore in this film is top notch. Any gore fiend is guaranteed to get his thirst quenched here. All the kills leave nothing to be had and never once was I left wanting more. We get treated to limbs being thrown to and fro, heads being ripped off, jaws being completely discarded from the rest of the head; I can go on and on. And every one was beautifully shot without turning the camera away.

The killer can be pretty freaky at times. He is a big, ugly, bad ass motherfucker. Picture Jason from part 7 mixed with one of the cannibals from The Hills have Eyes. Beautiful stuff.

Hatchet really has a classic, Friday the 13th feel to it which I really enjoyed. Actually, those who will not like this film will bash it for trying to rip it off. To be honest, it comes close to it (especially towards the end) but it didn’t bother me one bit. I found myself lounging back in my seat with a big grin on my face enjoying every minute of this movie.

The comedy was not over the top. It never reached a goofy level although it was pretty prevalent for the entire duration. This may bother some but again, not me. Each character is very stereotypical which I believe was intentionally done. The one character that urked me a little was Misty. The blonde bimbo that is by far the stupidest character I’ve seen in a movie in a long, long time. At first some of the things that come out of her mouth are so dumb it is kind of far fetched. It does let up though and she is responsible for one of the funnier parts of this movie regarding to her ring tone on her cell phone. Just think Dawsons Creek. Funny stuff.

There are only two back stories involving the characters that they really didn’t spend a whole lot of time on. I really enjoyed that with a movie of this nature. It’s all about the kills and I could give a fuck less about any back stories. The story of Ben's ex-girlfriend is only mentioned a couple of times and Mary Beth (the local with infinite knowledge of the legend that is Victor Crowley). The reason why she is on the tour to begin with is to find her father and brother (Robert Englund and Joshua Leonard). Again, they don’t spend a whole lot of time discussing that angle.

Overall this movie was terrific. Do not take this seriously, just sit back and enjoy the splatter and laughs that is Hatchet. A must see for any horror fan who wants to take a break from intense, disturbing films and wants to just have some good old fashion fun. 8 out of 10 electric saws that apparently runs on AA batteries?

This film was bloody and that's about it. Cameos are a plus, and much props for going balls out on the gore. But the hype had me looking for something more.

I thought there would be something that would stay with you when this was done. I thought it would be genuinely scary and creepy. It's just a lot of boo-scares with bad acting and typical characters. The difference is this one is painted red. Very red. And even though it's set in the swamps of Louisiana, there's almost no atmosphere at all. The boat ride in the beginning was when the swamp look it bests and gloomiest.

I liked it alright though. It was brutal and disgusting. I just wish I hadn't heard anything about it. It's a slasher, no more, no less.

5 out of 10 inconvenient rain clouds.

I completely agree with GiveMeGore on this movie. Adam Green loves his horror, and Hatchet is a fantastic homage to eighties slasher flicks. Yeah, the acting IS bad, but it's not the worst you'll ever see. I like to think of it as typical for this kind of movie. The writing is decent. We get some funny lines and a few good one-liners. I think Tony Todd has one of the best lines in the movie - it refers to why he doesn't do the tours anymore. I also thought that the back story of Victor Crowley and his father was a little heartwarming. Trust me, this does NOT subtract from the movie.

As to the gore, it's some of the best you'll see in recent movies. Once the kills started, there was blood splattering almost every other scene. This is definitely for gorehounds. Victor Crowley is also one of the most gruesome horror figures ever.

Finally, in an interview, Kane Hodder said that this was his favorite role. It's pretty evident that he had WAAAY too much fun making this movie. He was the perfect choice to play Victor Crowley.

I want to see more of Adam Green's work.

8 out of 10 token black guys

This movie is top shelf horror. It's got everything. Good storyline, awesome gore and violence, skin, Kane Hodder, and Tony Todd.

I thought the acting was pretty good. The two ditzy girls weren't very good actors, but not every girl in Hollywood will doff their tops as frequently as they did. Plus, they didn't have much help in the script department either. It's not like they were making up the stupid things they were saying. Still, it's a small matter. In a strange way, I almost consider questionable acting to be a prerequisite for good horror. Anywho...

The kills were great. I have a minor complaint about the invincibleness of Victor Crowley however (as well as his uninspired "Crowley" surname). It's kind of what drives me away from the slasher genre. If the main bad guy is invincible, the good guys are mere pawns in the storyline as opposed to dynamic entities that can change their fates. It makes for hollow victories.

To summarize, despite my minor gripes mentioned above, this is a very enjoyable movie. I've owned it for a week and have already watched it twice. Many more reps to come. Good atmosphere, good scares, good gore. Go get it. It will become a cult classic. I give it 8 out of 10 "Kills of the year" nominees.

I have to disagree with Payne on this one. I love the fact that they make Crowely a swamp living bad ass, who always gets back up for more! And besides that, we all want the bad guy to win anyway, so by going with that idea Hatchet is even more fun, 'cause you know everyone is going to die.

The first twenty minutes of Hatchet were pretty hard to take I thought, but then in one glorious crack of lightning, this flick kicks it into overdrive and doesn't stop for the next hour. Hatchet is just fun and you can tell everyone involved is just having fun, but none more than Kane Hodder.

Mr. Hodder gets to really let some of his personality out in Mr. Crowely and unlike Jason, Victor gets to run around and hoot and holler alot more. Also as sadi before, the kills and blood in this one are over the top, yes, but in a top notch way.

Bottom line is aside from the first twenty minutes Hatchet kicks ass!