A motley crew of strangers find themselves trapped in an isolated, rustic tavern. They must work together to escape the horror that has trapped them fighting for their very existence- a family of hungry creatures.

Feast is the long awaited horror film whose inception and production was made possible by the popular cable reality show Project Greenlight. Directed by the shows winner and first time filmmaker John Gulagar. His talent demonstrated in the series has had horror fans (myself included) salivating for nearly two years to get a glimpse of this installment of terror.

Yes it’s true. I was a big fan of the third and final season of Project Greenlight. The concept of the film seemed perfect, the director they chose was brilliant, and the glimpses of this film the series gave looked fantastic. So is the final product actually great? Not quite.

I’ve heard many early critics compare this film to The Evil Dead. Let me tell you right off the bat, though Feast does have some positive moments, with the exception of the desolate setting and dark comedy, nothing in this flick compares to The Evil Dead.

Lets begin with a brief itemization of the flaws.

COMEDY! The humor was obnoxious. Way too many jokes for my liking. I was hoping, based on Gulagars style, that this would be a dark and disturbing roller coaster ride. However, with lines like “Uhhh the monsters are humping” let’s just say it really wasn’t. It had a very eerie 90's horror feel to it. Translation- shitty jokes. I don’t mind a dark comedy type of flick in a horror setting, ala Shaun of the Dead, but films that constantly make light of the horrifying events that take place irritate me to no end.

For example, making the villainous creatures that are supposed to be scaring the piss out of us make sweet love to everything from wall mounts to human heads in an intentionally humorous fashion doesn’t do much for the films overall fear factor. In fact it completely destroys it. Bonus points for showing us a severed monster wang. Yay.

Also the film was so poorly edited that half the time you didn’t know which way was up or down. Was someone being eaten or wanking off. Apparently this thing really got neglected and thrown together.

By the way I’m ripping this film you’re probably thinking I hated it. Not true... well not completely. The gore FX were outstanding and kind of shocking. The kill scenes were pretty creative and flat out vicious. The creatures eradicate their victims with a shocking brutality that will make many of you smile with sick joy.

Now how about those creatures you ask? When you finally get to see them they look pretty damn gnarly. Big, nasty mofos. The only problem is you never get a great look at these beasties. For about 95% of the movie they are covered in... well something. I’ll just leave it at that.

Also as bad as I ripped the comedy in this, a few times it did actually make me laugh...scratch that, chuckle. Although at that point I was so let down about the kind of film it was shaping up to be that I just accepted it for what it was.

The acting was pretty solid too. Despite all the joke cracking nobody in the flick delivered an awful performance. But with a cast that includes Jay from Jay and Silent Bob and Henry freaking Rollins you know you are not getting Pacino either...or a straight up fright fest for that matter.

Another nice thing about this flick was it’s complete unpredictability. Nothing that happens in this was expected. It was about as unformulaic (is that a word?) a movie as I’ve seen. Whoever you expect to live will die and whoever you are sure will die is gonna live. Good stuff.

Also I gotta give it bonus points for the setting. Being trapped in a dive bar in the middle of the desert creates a great feeling of isolation. However the fact that they inject so much humor kills most of that dread which isolation often provides.

Overall I was greatly disappointed by this effort. I was a huge fan of “Project Greenlight” that detailed the making of this film. So to get a finished product that was this weak is such a bummer for me. This does not receive the Marshal’s seal of approval

4.5 out of 10 of the nastiest monster to human love scenes ever!

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Alright, I have to disagree with Earp, but it's probably because I never watched Project Greenlight.

There were alot of things I loved about this movie... the character introductions for instance. The SFX were great and over the top, and while it's true they didn't explain much about the creatures, I didn't feel they had to. This movie wasn't meant to scare, in my opinion... and though I wouldn't compare it to Shawn of the Dead, I felt that the comic relief was well placed.

There were certain origonal touches that I feel made this one stand out (i.e. the use of "character classification" as opposed to their real names). I thought it was a fun ride, and the movie didn't try to be something that it was not. I believe this one deserves...

6.7 our of 10 wild drunken nights - that you may or may not have had to fend for your life against wacky, horny creatures - but you drank too much and can't really remember.

I'm going to agree with MTV here, and it might very well have to do with the fact that I also never watched Project Greenlight.

I fully expected not to enjoy this movie, but as soon as the character introductions began I started to think I might change my tune. The moment I found out that I couldn't trust the life expectancy given to each character in their introduction (and also, in my opinion, probably the best moment of the movie), I was sure of it.

I wouldn't say I was ever really scared during Feast, but I was most definitely entertained. Regular horror movie rules are routinely broken here, which I love. The gore was top notch, I squirmed a couple times. I laughed a lot, even when the humor was obviously forced, that shit's still funny. The acting was completely acceptable, sometimes even pretty damn good. I love Judah Friedlander, even with maggots all up in his eye.

Feast is by no means perfect, it dragged in parts. And okay, sometimes jokes don't work. I agree with Earp that the monster sex kind of fell flat. But all in all, it's a good rental.

7.2 out of 10 guys that are gonna save your ass

MTV nailed this when he said it was a "fun ride". I enjoyed it and it was a good change of pace.

The gore was good. I didn't care for the speed up during action scenes. It was probably meant to demonstrate chaos but got me frustrated and made me think they did it as a cheap effect.

Some of the humor was pretty lame. Decent overall though.

All the acting was decent. I'm always game for Henry Rollins.

One scene irked me and I saw the same case in another recent movie. It's the "friendly fire" scene and the obligatory cover up afterwards. I don't think the cover up is really necessary. You sneak up behind somebody in a moment of extreme stress and you have high potential to get whacked. It's not cool, but it isn't like you had bad intent. I don't know. I guess if it was real life a person could feel really ashamed that they accidentally killed their buddy and try to lie about it. I'm just not a big fan of it as a plot device.

Anyway, a fun movie with a lot of gore. It had the same feel as From Dusk Til Dawn, just replace the vampires with aliens. I give this movie 7 out of 10 movie endings that coincide with the sunrise. I wonder how many movies do that...