When a young and very virginal lass by the name Charlotte begins to have dreams of a very passionate nature, she begins to wonder what’s behind these new and wild fantasies. After meeting the exotic and much older Sarah, Charlotte begins to experience both dreams and new acts of pleasure. After learning that a vampire is behind all of her new found desires and friends, Charlotte must fight for three long days and nights to avoid the embrace of the vampire.

Blah, blah, blah this is an hour and a half of semi-softcore porn that allows Alyssa Milano to both break her TV sitcom good girl stereotype and show off her newly enhanced breasts. This is just yet another example of what happens when good girl child actress go bad. And once again wanting to get to the bottom of things, I Jareprime ventured out into the world to get the answer to why this phenomena happens.

My first subject was Lisa Bonet who played Denise Huxtable on the Cosby Show and shed her image in the voodoo laced film Angel Heart.

"I just was sick of the whole sweet and nice thing, ya know Prime. I needed to let go of that show and just get away from the puddin' eating bastard, he was always willing to give me a "special kind" of pudding pop, if you get my meaning. The only thing I regret is that I had to have Mickey Rooney sweating all over me for, ha ha I mean Mickey Rourke, but it was truthfully about the same."

Next was Katie Homes from Dawson's Creek, who let out her wild child in The Gift.

"I was just trying to get away from the creek for awhile, and thought "Hey if I show my sweet perky little titties in a very quick and fuzzy flashback scene, that people would think I was as sexy and daring as Jessica Biel from 7th Heaven. But in hind site, I guess I came off as more of a cocktease. And I had to have that gay guy from As Good As It Gets sweat all over me."

Next was Nicole Eggert from Charles in Charge, who let it all out in the movie Blown Away.

"Look I was young sexy and nearly forgotten, I got some implants, banged a few producers and got to have both of the Coreys (Feldman and Haim) sweat all over me, big deal, I got my money and went on to be on Baywatch."

Next was Alyssa Milano, from Who's the Boss who shed her image in Embrace of the Vampire.

"Yeah, I did a titty flick, once, but who cares. I am hot and have a great body. I mean it's not like I would ever do it again or anything. I mean Drew Barrymore did it in the first Poison Ivy, I thought it would be fun to do it in Poison Ivy 2 and at least I didn't have to have that old ass guy from Alien sweat all over me, like she did."

(I had to interject here and tell her that I was talking about Embrace of the Vampire)

"Oh I forgot about that one, uhm I didn't show any bush in that one did I? Because I don't think I would ever do that."

What a fraud, but my next subject was the real deal as I got the low down from none other than Elizabeth Berkley herself, that’s right, Nomi from Showgirls.

"Hell yeah I did it, I was sick of that damned Saved by the Bell shit, I wanted to be free. So I showed my tits, ass and pelt to the world, I would have spread the pink eagle to get away from that Screech bastard, of course it did kill my career, but I would do it again, at least I got to have Gina Gershon sweat all over me."

Hell yeah, Nomi has "heat".

Before typing all this up I got a very disturbing call from a young man who was in fact trying to break his ultra clean childhood image. Now we all know about Todd Bridges and that red headed kid from the Partridge Family, but this call really upset me, for it was none other than Chris Burke, thats right Charles "Corky" Thatcher from Life Goes On.

"Man I have been trying to get away from my roll as Corky for so long. That show has ruined my life. I even went so far as to do a hardcore gay porn called Corky Hardcore and Cornholed, nothing. Most people see me and say "I loved you in Beyond Thunderdome, where's Master at?", stupid pricks, I was like three when that movie was made. Anyway I just got offered the lead role in a live action film version of the Mr. Potato Head movie so I see a major comeback in the cards for me, because I am sick of having strange men named Nflames and Payncraft sweat over me."

Wow truly amazing stuff.

2/10 For Embrace of the Vampire if you forgot what in the hell this review was about.

EDITORS NOTE: No actual celebrities were interviewed in connection with this celebrity interview, no facts are involved whatsoever. Nope.