Pity poor Christine Brown (Alison Lohman). All she wants to do is earn the Assistant Bank Manager job she’s worked so hard for and settle into a life of domestic bliss with her loving and good natured fiancee, psychiatrist Clay Dolton (Justin Long).

Unfortunately , a couple of things stand in her way. One is that her new, ass kissing co-worker has commanded the attention of her employer Mr. Jacks (David Paymer). Also, Clay’s parents -old school elitists from the word go- are not so willing to greet this former farm girl with open arms. Oh and did I mention that Christine has pissed off an evil gypsy woman (Lorna Raver) and is facing the possibility of literally being pulled into the bowels of Hell?

That’s right horror fans, sit back, strap yourselves in and prepare to be taken for one hell of a wild ride, because Sam “groovy” Raimi has returned to the genre which made him a star with this latest terror offering, the deliciously diabolical and furiously funny bone cracker Drag Me to Hell.

When elderly gypsy Sylvia Ganush appears at the bank where Christine works, all she wants is an extension on her loan so that she doesn’t have to lose her home. Christine, who handles the loan department, could grant the extension, but if she doesn’t- her boss informs her- the bank will turn a profit on repossessing the Ganush house. This, he informs her, is one of those tough decisions which employees need to learn to make in order to become Assistant Bank Managers. Take a wild guess what choice Christine makes?

Ganush, who isn’t exactly the sort of person you’d have an innate desire to spend lengthy increments of time with in the first place, doesn’t take kindly to being turned down. Things rapidly go south from there and before you know it, Christine finds herself on the receiving end of an absolutely terrifying after-hours visitation from Ganush , one which culminates in the young woman being cursed. For three days a demonic entity called the Lamia will torment Christine, culminating with her being forcibly pulled down through the earth into the fires of Hell itself. The rest of the movie is a chronicle of Christine’s torment and her efforts to try and cancel her impending otherworldly travel arrangements. If this sounds like a jacked up B-movie, you’re absolutely correct.

The plot is almost inconsequential. The performances are solid and the film moves at a clip, but it’s Sam Raimi who is the star here. After almost two decades away from directing horror, it becomes rapidly apparent that Raimi is reveling in this return to his roots. He takes every cliché you can think of and turns it on its head,. Nary is a single opportunity missed to go for well-executed jump scares or gross out shots. The dividing factor between this film and what would certainly come across as mundane and contrived in the hands of anyone else is Raimi’s talent. We’ve seen objects moving by themselves, creepy shadows and glimpses of a monster before.. hell, even in his previous work. But rarely are these images combined as effectively as they are here.

He isn’t afraid to tread over some sacred cows, either. Small animals are not necessarily safe in this film and no opportunity is missed to spew or shove some vile object, insect or fluid into poor Christine’s mouth. It’s no minor statement to say that the PG-13 rating on this is merely semantics. Despite an absence of any hardcore gore (though blood does issue memorably in a few scenes),this film does push the envelope on what that rating can get away with.

As mentioned, the acting is solid. Lohman is nicely relatable and does an excellent job transforming from hapless victim to determined survivor. Long is charming as always and Paymer is effectively smarmy as the boss. Dileep Rao is equally enjoyable as the psychic Christine turns to for assistance in battling her curse.

But the standout is Lorna Raver, who-assisted by some terrific effects makeup- creates in Sylvia Ganush the next great horror icon. Forget the doddering old man with the rotting nose from Thinner - Ganush would rip him in half. As capable of violence as her unsettling visage suggests, this is one character who will be remembered.

The effects are mostly practical in nature and are assured and convincing. Points off, though, for a scene or two involving some sketchy (but thankfully very brief) CGI.

The cinematography is top notch, with Evil Dead II camera maestro Peter Deming back on hand to capture the supernatural insanity. The quick zooms, tilted angles and swoops we’ve come to love and expect from a Raimi film are alive and well throughout (On the subject or returning to form, Raimi fans should keep their eyes and ears peeled: While there is (lamentably) no cameo by the Chin , a rather familiar Oldsmobile shows up at one point….and if you listen carefully during a particularly harrowing séance sequence, you’ll hear the undeniably familiar and throaty tones of a deadite voice).

I have only one other complaint about this film and that’s the telegraphing of a plot point. To avoid spoilers I won’t go into any details, but there is a last act ‘twist’ which anyone who has ever seen a horror film will figure out about twenty minutes before it is revealed. Points off for that as well.

But that’s the limit of my complaint list. In all other regards, it’s a big Splatter scribe “hat’s off “ to Raimi and his cast and crew for delivering an original, exciting and at times genuinely scary rollercoaster of a movie. Drag me to Hell came out of left field and is a cinematic wonder. It is not a remake, not a sequel and it is alternately very scary and painfully funny. It is also an assured return to horror by a genre hero. Good to have you back, Sam.

Nine out of Ten Mean Goat Demons