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Dead Heist
There's no such thing as a safe deposit.
Reviewed by GeneralCinema

Four thugs are looking to break out of street hustling and move onto bigger and better crimes. They learn of a bank that's never been robbed (it's a holding depot for other banks) and go to a Mobfather for weapons. He agrees for a 10% profit plus what he's owed from the botched job. Since he was screwed from their last job, the mobfather has a military veteran and bodyguard named Jackson ready to aid them in the heist.

The four thugs decide to rob the bank without Jackson only to end up screwing up the job, again. As night falls and, the thieves and hostages find themselves holding up in the bank as the town becomes ravaged by bloodthirsty flesh-eating creatures who were once human. Enter the man called Hunter - a mysterious character who has run into these creatures before and knows how to deal with them. Armed with guns and knives, Hunter and the gang have to try and survive a massive attack by the creatures.

All I can say is that I took one for the team on this one. This movie had way too much thug life for me. I don't speak the vernacular and had to think about some of the slang that was used. Rappers make up the main cast, and I guess they wanted to try their hand at acting. I can't say that they were horrible, but they were far from great.

This is one of those movies where the victims are interchangeable. I didn't really care for anyone and would have probably prefered if they all died. With the exception of Big Daddy Kane's character, nobody was memorable in the film.

I guess I'll start with the acting. The rappers/actors did a decent job playing thugs, but I have no experience to compare this to. I'm not a thug and never will be. In fact, I'm so naive that I'd be dead if I tried to be a hustler on the street, but I digress. Big Daddy Kane was okay I supppose. His character was a really bad Blade knock-off. Finally this brings me to the zombies, or the infected. They were slightly reminiscent of the Infected from 28 Days Later only their make-up wasn't nearly as good and they were anything but scary.

The infected (they're not called zombies in the film) are fast moving. They also come out only during the phase of the New Moon every month to feed - this makes them like the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers and a werewolf, in that respect. The biggest travesty is that they can ONLY be killed by shooting them through the heart. This makes them more like vampires than anything else. The heart is a more difficult target than the head. If you shoot someone in the chest, there's a really good chance that you'll miss the heart, yet these people were hitting dead on with every shot. I understand and appreciate the suspension of disbelief, but damn. Why do filmmakers always want to make zombie movies, yet it's painfully obvious that they've never seen anything remotely close to resembling a zombie movie. The writers and director of this need to have a zombie movie marathon starting with the Dead Series.

That being said, I have a really good question about these zombies: If you get bit, you become a zombie. If you get bit during the phase of the New Moon and the cycle ends before you can completely turn, what happens to you?

The movie is very slow paced. Aside from the bank robbery, nothing happened until almost an hour into the film. To top it off, the action scenes are kind of boring and never really kept my attention.

Ultimatly I wasn't impressed with this movie. I'm giving it a 3 out of 10.


Dead Heist
There's no such thing as a safe deposit.
Reviewed by BadKitty

I've been watching "urban horror" recently, so I was kind of glad to find this washing around on cable. It is not a particularly good movie, but compared with a lot of urban horror it is passable, and I kind of enjoyed it for reasons I can't quite put my finger on.

During the first third, the editing is sometimes interesting. During the last third, the lunar-zombie-vampire fight is occasionally funny. In the middle, watching the various thugs screw themselves actually makes for better character development than you often see. And DJ Naylor reminds me a heck of a lot of an ex boyfriend. So I thought this was worthwhile overall, but I definitely can't recommend it to others.

I'm usually happy to see people reinterpret old monsters, but with the zombie-vampires in Dead Heist, which arise only on the full moon, created in evil military industrial complex labs to be super soldiers - it's like they randomly mushed up all the creepies in the vault. And there was absolutely no reason for it. So that actually sort of ticked me off.

None of the stars will be moving to mainstream any time soon, but a number of them actually have some screen presence. GeneralCinema says that Big Daddy Kane gives the only memorable performance, which I guess is correct, but to me it was memorable because he was an even worse actor than the others. At least he gets marks for accepting that he had nothing to work with and chewing the scenery. 3/10.


(2007) Bo Webb, Anghus Houvouras

Big Daddy Kane ... Hunter
Brandon Hardin ... Ski
D.J. Naylor ... Ackson
Dominic L. Santana ... Malcolm
E-40 ... Hustle
T-Love ... Kate
Michael Braxton ... Trey
Chris Bailey ... Bone
Bone Crusher ... Himself (as Bonecrusher)
Zach Hanner ... Rich
Jon Stafford ... Sheriff
Bill Ladd ... Deputy Miller
Cullen Moss ... Deputy ...
Charlie Lucas ... Uncle Authur
Joi Heggins ... Bonecrusher's Girl


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