A group of college kids investigate a local cult gone wrong for their class project. Before Google is even engaged one of them dies mysteriously. The others continue on. Duh.

So there are pretty much two types of bad movies. There are bad movies that are so bad they’re good and you can get some kind of enjoyment out of them. Then there are movies that are so bad you would rather be watching Barbie’s Mariposa with your kid in the next room for the third time that day. Guess which one this is?

One irritating thing that I shouldn’t let affect my opinion of the movie but can’t help myself? The “Property of Maverick Entertainment Group, Inc.” typed in freaking 48 point type I had to watch the entire movie through. I get why its there but when I couldn’t tell what was going on half the time you might want to consider making that declaration slightly more unobtrusive.

The acting was below average, everyone looked very awkward most of the time. There was complete overuse of the background noise/music to show us when we are supposed to be scared, both when the scene was attempting to be scary and when absolutely nothing was scary and the poor music was trying it’s hardest to fool us into thinking otherwise. The screechy violins were working some serious overtime.

The movie felt like it was missing chunks. (Yeah, insert blowing joke here.) Like I said before, someone dies before they even get started. A mysterious tape shows up in the mail that’s never explained. (A VHS tape? Seriously?) There’s talk about “getting close” to something but barely anything has been talked about up until that point. There is much more but you get the point.

Every one of the characters was extremely bland or annoying. The main girl is boring, the main guy is an emo douchebag that’s dating the slutty girl even though he’s in love with the main girl and the fat frat boy was the most annoying sidekick since Shelly in Friday the 13th part III.

Probably the best thing about this movie was the gore. It wasn’t revolutionary or anything but it was done well. Also the artwork used during the opening and closing was beautiful.

Oh and the bad guy? Elaborate facial hair robe wearing black nail polish applying dude with wizardy swirly lights coming out of his hand? So not scary.

2 out of 10 beers I should have been drinking while watching this movie.