Ethel Janowski is crazy. Crazy and fat. Ethel has just been released from a mental institution into the care of her Grandmother with the promise of outpatient shock therapy. Ethel really doesn’t seem too crazy, that is, until Granny locks up the food. Oh Granny, we hardly knew ye. Luckily for Ethel the local market delivers. Except Ethel doesn’t have any money…

“That’ll be $80”
“I ONLY HAVE FOUR FIFTY!”
*stabstabstab*

You get the picture. People get in between Ethel and her food and they have to die. Ethel’s really not that bad of a person, girlfriend just wants to be left alone with her Nilla Wafers, is that really so wrong?

Criminally Insane (aka Crazy Fat Ethel) was written and directed by porn director Nick Millard. Millard also made Criminally Insane 2 (ahem, Crazy Fat Ethel 2) and Death Nurse (supposedly part three but there is also Death Nurse 2 which I guess would be Crazy Fat Ethel 4? Or maybe I just like typing Crazy Fat Ethel.)

This is a pretty fun movie, surprisingly. Ethel is detached from everything but food, nothing really bothers her, the bodies piling up are a mild inconvenience at best. The smell keeps getting worse but there’s always the liberal use of air fresheners to help. Once the air fresheners stop working and she can’t seem to get some alone time to throw the bodies off a cliff, well, there’s really only one thing left to do.

The house and everything filling it is perfect for this film. Obviously its someone’s home as no detail is left out. You can see the grime on the doorframes and light switches from countless grabby hands. The teacups are chipped and the nightgowns are torn. The garden is full of weeds and obviously too stony to bury any bodies in.

The gore isn’t anything special; mainly red paint and latex. I have to hand it to the filmmakers, they don’t try to hide the very obvious fact that they’re using red paint. The camera lovingly lingers on what looks like the same tempera we used in art class. The decomposing bodies look more like sunburn victims and it’s really obvious that no skin is broken in the stabbing and cleaving. Think of the bad effects as part of the fun. The weird blinking camera angles during the death scenes need to be considered fun as well.

If you like goofy 70’s exploitation movies give this one a look. It’s probably not going to be at the top of anyone’s list but it is fun and entertaining. The movie is only an hour long so you aren’t really investing a lot of your time in it.

5 out of 10 half gallons of ice cream eaten out of a casserole dish. Mmmm.