Where do I begin? I’ve been looking forward to seeing this movie ever since I posted the trailer on the site. Now I’m sorry I ever wasted brain cells thinking about it. I caught House of Wax the other night and thought that was a better film, which should tell you something.

Kate (Franka Potente who usually looks very pretty but looks really rough in this movie) must rush out of a party and into the Underground when her friend leaves her high and dry. Where were they supposed to be going you ask? Seems they knew where George Clooney was going to be that night and were planning to find him and hit it. Yeah after hearing that I didn’t care if she lived or died either.

Kate manages to fall asleep while waiting for the final train (how do you sleep through all that noise?) and when she wakes up is all alone and locked in. Well not quite alone. A guy named...Guy has followed her because he thought she was hitting on him at the party. When she rejects his advances he tries to rape her but is pulled off her and sliced up by a mystery person. Kate must now flee into the tunnels to escape from the creep or Creep, whatever. She meets up with some fodder along the way in the form of some homeless junkies and a sewer worker.

There were many plot holes and many many irritating to the point of madness actions by our characters. First off how long has this mutant been killing people? It’s very clear that he has been living in the sewers his whole life and killing for at least some of that, but he’s leaving blood trails all over the place and killing people like a train conductor and a security guard and not getting caught? They show that there are cameras trained on the pedestrians, yet no one is seeing this guy prancing about?

Also there were several opportunities to kill the creep that weren’t taken. I’m not talking about check-for-weapons-and-lie-in-wait either. I’m talking one guy is holding the creep down and you have a crowbar and you don’t do anything even though the creep is just laying there for an excruciatingly long time. Also apparently there’s this unknown hospital/clinic/mad scientist lab in the middle of the Underground system that no one knows about. I’m going to assume the creep/Creep is some experiment gone horribly awry but I couldn’t tell you for sure.

One big reason the movie wasn’t scary was the introduction of the creep about halfway through. Instead of glimpses and mystery we get him gibbering around in full view letting out this stupid shriek over and over. He sounded like one of those pterodactyls from the old Herculoids cartoon.

As with anything there were a few good bits, one in particular is the scene where the creep prepares himself to “perform surgery” on a woman. He goes through the motions of washing, gowning and gloving obviously mimicking what he has grown up seeing his entire life. The resulting surgery was brutal to say the least.

I’d say wait until cable but this movie has a lot of rabid fans if you check the internet. You may be one of them and just don’t know it yet. I thought it was one of the stupidest movies I’ve ever seen but I didn’t hate House of Wax either so you may draw your own conclusions.

3 out of 10 stilettos to the eye that apparently don’t take out the eye.

Solid. That's the first word that came to my mind after watching this one. It is by no means a masterpiece, but definitely a horror movie worth seeing.

I specifically stress the word "horror" as this has to be the purest example of one, I've seen in a while. The story doesn't really play a huge part here (and it IS utterly unrealistic), it's all about pure terror. Don't get me wrong, it's not THAT scary, in fact, it's more entertaining than frightening. But you can clearly see what kind of mood the director was aiming for.

The title character kept reminding me of the freak from Castle Freak, whether that's a compliment or a diss in you opinion. It's hard to tell much about his origin but he does have a lot of potential. His "mock surgery" scene was probably the most disturbing in the whole flick, especially when you consider that the "patient" could have been easily saved a few moments earlier.

Overall, Creep is a violent, moody film that doesn't really care about realism or depth of characters, but still manages to entertain.

6 out of 10 shrieking, omnipresent freaks skulking around in your local subway.