Deep in the heart of Antarctica, New Alcatraz has just received it's first prisoners. However a new inmate has just been set free, 12,000 feet beneath the earth, prison building contractors have just unleashed a huge prehistoric reptile, who has been hungry for a very long time. Now the guards and the prisoners most unite if any of them are to survive the terror of the Boa!

Someone kick my ass. Now if you read my review for Python 2, I said "I'm not ever seeing anything again with the words Python in the title, unless it stars Ron Jeremy" now I will add Boa to that list as well. Where in the hell do people come up with this shit? The prison idea is actually kind of cool, but from there on this sorry sumbitch goes straight down the shitter.

The prisoners, guards, and ass-crack of a warden must deal with the snake until help arrives. What help do they get you ask? Well they get five army soldiers and the husband and wife paleontologist couple of Dr. Robert and Jessica Trenton, who just happen to specialize in prehistoric reptiles that may have existed at one time. No shit! Dr. Robert (Dean Cain) even teaches a class at Princeton on that very subject, that subject being "Prehistoric Reptiles That May Have Existed In Antarctica At One Time 101". I got a better idea for ya how about "Movie Plots That Are Somewhat Believable 100". This movie stunk more than a cup of ass.

First we got a snake that is 80 foot long living in a hole in the Antarctic for millions of years. How? Then we get the standard “doctors trying to save it while the military wants to kill it” story. There is also the Magnificent 7 of convicts who range from Russian arms dealers to IRA psycho Babe who all have the heart of gold when the chips are down and the snake is stacked against you. Last but not least is the married doctors having trouble in their relationship that need the terror of a big snake to bring them closer together.

Let me tell ya, I'm married and I have a big snake that I terrorize my wife with, granted it's attached to me but it still scares her, nonetheless. Now I don't call it anaconda, python or boa, I call it Cheek Spreader, cause it gets the job done. You know when you flip the bitch over and begin to set her up for the inverted coal miner, but… oops sorry, kinda got off subject there, back to the review.

The snake looks as bad as the one in Python except the Boa has huge front fangs and a pointy tail that it uses to spear people. Also instead of having the snake eat everybody in sight, twice the writers have the guards and soldiers rupture gas lines causing them to ignite and incinerate about half of them. Way to eliminate the fodder guys.

This one is bad, real bad. If you like movies about 80 foot million year old snakes who can live in the arctic and loves to snack on prison guards, soldiers, and inmates, then this is your movie, if your like me and would rather spank the monkey for an hour and a half, then go do it, you'll have more fun I'm sure.

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