A group of teenage graduates head out to a campsite to party. On the way they run into a redneck and his trashy wife who just so happen to tell them about a bunch of murders at that particular campground. The kids arrive and we’re treated to a sped up musical montage of them unpacking and setting up and drinking like teenagers drink when they have beer and think this makes them super cool. There’s another one of these the next day with them playing football and swimming while super fun kicky music plays.

Oh wait I forgot to mention the scene at the beginning where there was a fire and some people died then we moved to present day. We couldn’t have a slasher film without that!

The kids are beyond typical white bread blandness. I couldn’t tell any of the boys apart and the girls consisted of the slut, the bigger slut, the boring slut, and the smart slut. I knew she was the smart one because she wore glasses for the first five minutes. The only thing that differentiates any of them is quite a few have seriously crooked teeth. Obviously they haven’t been in the business long enough to be able to afford cosmetic dental work.

People please avoid this movie. There’s all this sex and no nudity. There’s all this death but no gore. Want to know what to do if you don’t have the money to show someone’s throat cut? You have them dead with their hands clutching their own throat. The other deaths weren’t much better; hasn’t Tom Savini written a book or something?

I’m writing the rest of this review as a running commentary. Don’t worry, I’m not spoiling anything. You’ve seen everything here a hundred times.

God, one kid has brought out a guitar and is singing ballads to one of the girls, holy fuck I can’t believe I had to watch that.

One girl’s psycho ex-boyfriend has followed them to the camp. Maybe he’s the killer? I bet he’s not.

Ok, the smart girl morphed into the biggest bitchy slut and has now morphed into the badass. One guy even called her “Rambette.” Yeah like that joke was even funny back in the 80’s.

Adam is crying about the prank gone wrong again. Oh, I guess that was what we saw in the beginning. Boy he’s really crying. Way to pick a time to have a breakdown Adam, your friends are dead and you have to make it all about you.

Oh look a creepy caretaker. Wait make that a trembling pansy caretaker. Ooops the caretaker is dead. Boy I was really thinking he might be the killer. This movie sure has me fooled.

An arrow in the gut would not kill you immediately. In fact an arrow in the gut would leave you alive and in excruciating pain for a really long time. FYI.

Everyone has split up so much I think there are only three kids left. There is absolutely no tension. No creepy music, no stalking, nothing but kids screaming at each other. Boy that never gets annoying.

The kids are talking about the prank gone awry four years ago again. I guess they’ve figured out this has something to do with that. Ya think?

Let me reiterate, there are a whole bunch of people dead and there is no gore. Zero, zip, nada. Now some people are getting shot. I don’t think the killer is really committed to being a quality slasher.

Oh here’s the big reveal. Yawn. Don’t worry I won’t spoil it for you. Can I just say it was beyond lame? And stupid? I can’t believe I wasted room on my Tivo for this.

I give this 2 out of 10. I’m going to watch Shredder now. Same type of movie, it can’t be as bad right?