1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go it alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits just get out!

10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had 3/4 of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

19. Always be sure that you run out of the front door, and not upstairs.

21. If you're running for a locked door, or locked car, you can be sure of the following

A) You're going to drop your keys (sometimes more than once)
B) The key is going to jam in the lock/ignition
C) When you get in, you won't lock the door behind you making it certain that your pursuer is not going to have to go through the same hell as you
D) If it's a car, the battery is probably dead, just run on by.

22. If you're having sex, you're dead, period.

23. Do NOT, under any circumstances, no matter how badly you love the deceased, ever, EVER inject a strange glowing green substance into the backs of their heads. Nor should you ever, EVER bury them in the pet cemetary.

24. Shiny flying balls with spikes and drills are not toys.

25. Do NOT eat any split pea soup, or any other green substance if you're planning on becoming possessed.

26. Never under any circumstances, EVER put a crucifix near or especially not IN your bathing suit areas.

27. Never use a port-a-potty/outhouse in the middle of nowhere.

28. The really hot girl with the pale skin that picked you up in the bar is not leaving with you for your personality.

29. If you wake up naked in a field/park/forest and don't remember how you got there after being bitten by an animal, you probably don't want to know about your new eating habits.

30. If men with biohazard suits and M-16's show up in your small, isolated town, it's time to relocate.

31. When walking through a graveyard, never ask the shambling figure if they need help.

32. When driving through small towns, and the townspeople tell you there is a(n) curse/spell/or other doomy things in general going on, it's best not to blow them off and investigate it on your own.

33. The cell phone, when needed, will never have a signal.

34. The first object the camera zooms in on will no doubt be what saves your life in the end.

35. Whatever falls from the sky, bubbles from the ground, or drips from a cannister, do not poke with a stick.

36. If you've been talking to someone for a few minutes and suddenly realize they haven't responded, DO NOT check to see if they're alright. Just run.

37. When your girlfriend stumbles and falls, keep running.

Note: This article was circulating via email with the first 18, the rest were contributed by Horrorwatchers.